MCPETE-SEZ
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Get Laundry, Fix Dinner, Do It

By W. Blake Gray, From myprimetime.com 

Here's a common complaint: Every night you and your mate sleep together, but you're too tired to do anything more.

No wonder. Without realizing, you may have made sex the least important event in your day.

You schedule your haircuts. You schedule your dog's haircuts. But do you ever take your schedule book and pencil in,
"making love, 8-9 p.m.?"

Well, start. Scheduling your sex life is the best way to ensure that you have one. If it seems too calculating, consider this —
those torrid affairs that get politicians and actors on the evening news are scheduled to the minute, as we know from the
subpoenas afterward.

Unless you're a televangelist, don't feel guilty about scheduling sex.

"The underlying problem is not really about sex," said Joani Blank, author of several books on sexuality. "It's about how we
take time for leisure and pleasure. We take vacations and buy expensive things for pleasure, but we feel guilty about it."

Remember, sex is an important part of a healthy relationship. If you're willing to invest money in a Viking stove or hours in a
post-graduate class, you should also invest time and energy in your sex life.

Make no mistake — you may not have had to work at it when you were 22, but you do now. 

"I have a feeling that a lot of guys are finding all kinds of reasons to not have sex, period," Blank said. "Actually being sexual
takes a lot of work."

For me, it's worth it. I schedule romantic dinner reservations as late as I can — 9:30 p.m. or later. When I tell my girlfriend
about the date, I let her know how I hope we'll use the time beforehand. I find dinner afterward to be far more intimate than
it would be if the food came first.

Scheduling is the beginning. With the time set, prepare for your sexual encounter with your spouse as seriously as you would
for a business meeting. After all, which is really most important?

Find out what it takes to make your partner more comfortable as well as more excited. This is particularly important for
men, because women take longer to become aroused.

Foreplay begins not when you start caressing each other, but earlier — as soon as you begin thinking about each other. The
brain is the body's biggest sexual organ. Use it to arouse your whole day.

Call your partner during the day of your "date" and tell her how much you like her body. Talk dirty a little.

For women, self-esteem is crucial, Blank says. If you're confident enough to not have any negative feelings about your body,
you're one of a tiny minority. Women need to know that they're sexy.

Some men like to know that their mate is wearing sexy underwear all day; it heightens their anticipation.

Ask her one day over dinner what turns her on. It could be as simple as candlelight, or as involved as her pretending to be
the sea captain and you her galley slave. Whatever. Then, another day, make her fantasy come true. Women enjoy sex
much more when you properly set the mood.

Personally, I feel more comfortable making love if I've had a shower. I feel better about my body if I know it doesn't smell
of sweat, and I prefer my partner to be clean too. Any time we travel, we look for a place with a hot tub.

But this is (ba-da-dum) personal taste. The French believe that body odor is crucial to sex, as evidenced by the famous
telegraph from Napoleon to Josephine: "I will be arriving in Paris tomorrow evening. Don't wash."

Ah, those French. One last point about scheduling: don't limit yourself to the evening. Men are more easily aroused, and
have more energy, in the morning. Consider breakfast in bed next weekend; food is optional.