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Senate Passes Peru TPA
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TJX Settles Suit With Visa
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EU's Chinese Imports Monitored
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Palmers Textile to Purchase Lejaby
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Buyers' Best Sellers
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Ask Andy
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McPete Sez
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Warnaco's Calvin Klein Deal
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Virtual Shopping Personalized
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Ask Kevin
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Delta Galil's RealCool Cotton Improved
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Intelligent Bras
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November Retailers' Sales Review
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The Buzz
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Page
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Cat Lover?
Cat Lover or not, this is hysterical! We've all had trouble with our
animals, but I don't think anyone can top this one:
Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No matter how legitimate my excuse, I always get the feeling that my boss thinks I'm lying. On one recent
occasion, I had a valid reason but lied anyway, because the truth was just too
darned humiliating. I simply mentioned that I had sustained a head injury, and I
hoped I would feel up to coming in the next day. By then, I reasoned, I could
think up a doozy to explain the bandage on the top of my head.
The accident occurred mainly because I had given in to my wife's wishes to
adopt a cute little kitty. Initially, the new acquisition was no problem.
Then one morning, I was taking my shower after breakfast when I heard my wife, Deb, call out to me from the kitchen.
Honey! The garbage disposal is dead again. Please come reset it."
"You know where the button is," I protested through the shower pitter-patter
and steam. "Reset it yourself!"
But I'm scared!" she persisted. "What if it starts going and sucks me in?"
There was a meaningful pause and then, "C'mon, it'll only take you a second."
So out I came, dripping wet and buck naked, hoping that my silent outraged
nudity would make a statement about how I perceived her behavior as extremely cowardly. Sighing loudly, I squatted down and stuck my head
under sink to find the button.. It is the last action I remember performing.
It struck without warning, and without any respect to my circumstances.
No, it wasn't the hexed disposal, drawing me into its gnashing metal teeth.
It was our new kitty, who discovered the fascinating dangling objects she
spied hanging between my legs.
She had been poised around the corner and stalked me as I reached under
the sink. And, at the precise moment when I was most vulnerable, she leapt at
the toys I unwittingly offered and snagged them with her needle-like
claws.
I lost all rational thought to control orderly bodily movements, blindly
rising at a violent rate of speed, with the full weight of kitten hanging
from my masculine region.
Wild animals are sometimes faced with a "fight or flight" syndrome. Men,
in this predicament, choose only the "flight" option. I know this from
experience. I was fleeing straight up into the air when the sink and
cabinet bluntly and forcefully impeded my ascent. The impact knocked me out cold.
When I awoke, my wife and the paramedics stood over me. Now there are not many things in this life worse than finding oneself lying on the kitchen
floor buck naked in front of a group of "been-there, done-that" paramedics.
Even worse, having been fully briefed by my wife, the paramedics were all snorting loudly as they tried to conduct their work, all the while trying
to
suppress their hysterical laughter... and not succeeding. Somehow I lived through it all. A few days later I finally made it back in to the office,
where colleagues tried to coax an explanation out of me about my head injury. I kept silent, claiming it was too painful to talk about, which
it was.
Why is it that only the women laugh at this?
* ************************************************
The Buzz
Do you or one of your co-workers have
an announcement to make? A birthday, promotion, new baby, engagement, marriage?
Email their name, store name and city and state to
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New Addition to G World
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Mark Behar has recently joined the G World Collections sales team.
"It is such an exciting opportunity to have the chance to work with G World. They are such a great company to work for" said Behar.
Marc Kristel, president of G World Collections said "I am very excited to have Mark Behar represent us as the Northeast Account Manager based in New York. Being a well respected veteran of this industry he will bring much success and excitement. Mark has a loyal following, his customers believe in him, and if he is with G World now there is a good reason why. We have become a fast growing company offering great quality and unique products, very competitive prices, on time and complete shipping."
For more information please contact Mark Behar at hobart330@yahoo.com
or go to www.gworldcollections.net
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Corner"
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January 1st, 2008
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